Zucchini and Tomatoes, Willow and Jaden

One of the nicest things about fall is that many backyard vegetable gardens are dead.

In the fall, I don't have to say "Stop giving me your zucchini and tomatoes."

I've never said "Stop giving me roses." But Generation Xers don't seem interested in growing cutting gardens. No, they want to grow food, which, as many Baby Boomers know, is readily available in restaurants.

The food-growing fixation is part of Gen X's larger DIY ethos. Other elements of the Gen X zeitgeist include reminiscing about "Friends," defending tattoos, wondering aloud about Melissa Joan Hart, and posting fuzzy photos from Dave Matthews concerts.

The DIY part is the most troubling because they can't just keep their tomatoes to themselves. They apparently need to share. Oh, what Sesame Street has wrought. (The Three Stooges. Now there's appropriate entertainment for pre-schoolers.)

I know, the tomatoes are a gift from the heart. But let's break it down.

Homegrown and handmade gifts really are the best.
Unless you consider the really great stuff sold in stores.
And cash.

I'm not big on shopping during the holidays. So it occurred to me that I could pretend to be a Gen Xer and make gifts this year to avoid the whole thing. Here are some projects I'm considering:

• An abstract watercolor symbolizing "organic" painted on a repurposed paper grocery bag
• A haiku ode to flannel written in crayon on a napkin
• A bust of Dave Matthews made of gluten-free muffin crumbs.

The best scenario would be a culture skip-over: We go right from Baby Boomers to Millennials. It will be like Pax Romana -- decades of the Will Smith family reigning over everything. As Jaden told the New York Times:  "Something that’s worth buying to me is like Final Cut Pro or Logic." 

The future is going to be great.