When I drive past a dead animal, I say a prayer. I ask God to take the soul of the animal up to Heaven to be cared for by my dogs Mac, Maggie and Halo.
It's weird, I know. It may be crazy. And where am I going that I'm driving past all these dead animals?
It's especially odd because I'm not sure there is a God or Heaven. There's no evidence, right? And, sorry folks, the stories in the Bible are just cautionary tales written by people who were worried about safe food handling and property rights. It's not like I don't know what's in the Bible. I had perfect attendance is Sunday school, spent summers in Vacation Bible School, was confirmed after hours in Lutheran catechism classes and sat through four years of Religion in Catholic high school. I know the words to the Lord's Prayer and the lyrics to "Sons of God" (OK, just the chorus).
But in all honesty, I can't say there was a single moment in church when I thought "I believe!" Mostly I was thinking: "That didn't happen." Creation, Garden of Eden, flood, pillars of salt, wine, fish, walking on water…Whether I was 5 or 9 or 14 my reaction was the same: Nope.
But then. I also pray on airlines. I pray that God protects me.
I pray to a Jesus that looks like the picture I decoupaged onto a piece of wood once in Sunday school for a Christmas present to my parents. Is it fear of dying that I pray? I don't know.
I told Rocky about my secret praying tonight when we were sitting my the fire drinking beer. We were talking about death. Ordinarily, I would talk about death with the kids. But they're off to college now.
Rocky didn't call 911 and report me as a 5150, so that was nice. He did look at me like the weirdo I am. In the end we both kind of shrugged. What is the point of discussing God and Heaven?
You can be unsure about God and Heaven and secretly believe in God and Heaven. Or you can believe all the way. Or you can disbelieve. What difference does it make? You either have somewhere to go on Sunday mornings or you don't.
I prefer to sleep in.
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